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  <a href="/blog/blog/7624726/the-point-of-no-return">The Point of No Return</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message"><p>I just came out of a meditation “class” here in Portland that was so incredibly deep I am compelled to write about it. It made me think about sleep and consciousness, and it occurred to me that there is a continuum of awareness that decreases and decreases as we approach “sleep” each time we go to bed. At some point, we cross the “point of no return” and we move from awareness to complete lack of awareness. This is what we refer to as sleeping, and we all do it on some kind of scheduled rest period. As we go deeper along the awareness continuum, there comes a point when our minds become active again and we experience “events” we refer to as dreaming. What happens in a meditation session is that I deliberately attempt to slow my consciousness along the continuum, approaching the “point of no return”, but not actually crossing it into unconsciousness, to the place where I am awake but my mind is shut down as far as the “thinking machine” is concerned. We are taught that if one can attain this mental state, he or she is open directly to one's higher mind, the mind(s) that are connected to the chakra system, or “the higher self”. For me, a good session is where I can stop my thinking and just “be” with my higher self. Each day I practice, I attain some degree along the continuum of slowing my thoughts. Getting beyond “thinking” is definitely an objective in meditation.</p><p>What happened today, and has occurred only a few times in past meditation sessions, is I crossed the point of no return several times. Was I asleep? I don't think so. This state of being is different, but it somewhat felt like I nodded off and then crossed back into deeply arrested consciousness at several points. This, like so many “mystical” occurrences, is almost impossible to describe with language (a dualistic endeavor).</p><p>Our practice is described as “open-eye meditation”. Shakti is absorbed into the chakra system through the chakras, but also through the eyes. The “teacher” is able to access the flow of Shakti surrounding us all and helps each student by directing a flow of Shakti personally to them. Again, this happens predominately through the eyes, and like everything else in our practice, is physically felt. Teacher J always says,“Ours is a visceral practice”. The degree of which the eyes are open (from completely open wide or down to small, squinting slits) varies from practitioner to practitioner. Teacher J has his eyes part-way open, Teacher K has hers completely open, while Teacher S is squinting, almost as if asleep. Even though the eyes are open, they usually become un-focused so that we aren't actually “looking” at anything.</p><p>Today was a very deep meditation session for me, and I hope to have many more like this one. I feel it is a sigh that I'm advancing in my spiritual work, and I came away feeling recharged and refreshed. Thank you for reading, and I am interested in the state of consciousness others attain in their spiritual work. Respond to this post if you feel so moved. Be kind. Love each other.</p><p>– Bob</p></div>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2025-08-26T17:51:00-07:00" title="August 26, 2025 17:51">08/26/2025</span></p>

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  <a href="/blog/blog/7622435/on-letting-go">On Letting Go</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message"><p>A lot has happened recently. I attended my teacher's birthday retreat in Connecticut, which was powerful and transformative.  Will and I have been busy recording the 3rd CD, which is proving to be an interesting adventure in itself. I've also been attending Teacher J's classes here in Portland. His most recent talk (which I wish he would agree to let me audiotape because they are so inspired), was his take on “Letting Go”. The whole concept has been on my mind for a long time.</p><p>It started several years ago when I first decided to record my music. That decision came from a counseling session I had with Teacher S. At the time, I had been practicing spiritually for several years and I was feeling a sense that I owed a debt (to the universe, I guess) for my life; like I know I was given many special gifts, but what have I done with them? I asked him, “If one is given a special talent, is he obligated to use it for the benefit of as many people as possible?” Teacher S said that he didn't think there was an explicit expectation (from God or the Universe or whatever), but that one ought to use their gifts. I don't recall all of the conversation, but I left the meeting deciding to use everything in my power to leave the songs I was given to the world before I left it. I then had a consolation with my dear Teacher K., a retired musician herself, who agreed with me that I had a karma obligation to share the music I was given. I knew I couldn't do it without some professional assistance as I didn't have the resources or knowledge of modern recording techniques to pull off the level of recording I was expecting of myself. Needless to say, that led me to <i>Fortune Avenue Studio</i> and the beginning of a wonderful journey into making modern music, which is a story for another time.</p><p>When I started recording, I had a life time worth of songs to draw from. It was a hair-pulling experience trying to decide what should be on the debut CD. I decided to plot out the first 5 CDs, placing songs from the collection on each CD. At the time, I didn't realize I was entering a new season of songwriting and that there would soon be several new songs as well (which ended up on CD 2 and 3). I decided the first CD would be called <i>Painter,</i> after the song. At that point, I felt <i>Painter</i> (the song) was one of my better works. I contacted Dr. Paul and invited him to participate if he wanted. It made me happy to share this adventure with my friends, songa, and family, if any wished to contribute musically. With the first CD planned, I decided number 2 would be called “The Delicate Art of Letting Go”, number 3 “Serpent Power”, number 4 “Layers of Truth”, and number 5 “Remembering the Future”. The <i>Delicate Art of Letting Go</i> seemed to awkward for the cover of a CD, so I shortened it to “On Letting Go”.</p><p>It was true synergy that a year or so later, around the time we released the <i>Painter</i> CD, that Teacher S. announced he began printing tee shirts with various sayings of his. One in particular was “Just Let Go”. I had to smile inwardly at this seeing how it was so similar to the CD title we were then recording. “Just Let Go” became a theme in several of Teacher S's talks. Its is so interesting to me how a group of people can be so connected as to independently share ideas like this. Several songs on our CD mention letting go.</p><p>Which brings me to Teacher J's recent talk. He said that as he reflected what it meant, it came to him a new understanding of what to let go was. The talk was very inspired and made me reflect as well. As I see it, everything must be surrendered before death as none of us can take anything but our spiritual growth with us. So after personal meditation, I realized I shared many things Teacher J did to let go of. One thing that stuck out to me was “Toxic” relationships. I have a big one. I now know I have to let it go.</p><p>Also, my massive collections of various stuff. Possessions absolutely weigh one down. If I had only a car-load of possessions, I could live anywhere at any time. But I have a house full of stuff. Some are collections that keep improving in value and some I want to leave to my kids, but the other side I realized is I don't value all this stuff like I used to. I guess it is a part of my spiritual growth, but I realize some of this stuff might enrich another person's life while freeing me of a burden. I know collecting stuff brought me a lot of joy, and I'm sure I'm not the only one, but I've got to seriously start “Letting Go”. I'm curious to see where this takes me.</p><p>With Love, Bob</p></div>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2025-08-21T14:50:15-07:00" title="August 21, 2025 14:50">08/21/2025</span></p>

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  <a href="/blog/blog/7611874/question-your-beliefs">Question Your Beliefs</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message"><p>     I think the way I do because of my <i>experiences</i>. I was taught as a small child to “believe” in order to be “saved”. But I had to be honest with myself. I watched those in the church while growing up, and I soon became aware that the level of belief and commitment to Christian values amongst various congregation members was lax, at best, and in some cases, behavior didn't match the teachings of the church at all. The word "hypocrisy” was prevalent in my young mind. My Mother, bless her, did not fall into this category; she actually tried to live the Christian life to the best of her ability. The contrast between my mother and those I observed helped make it even clearer to me: I just did not believe. At first, I felt guilty when I realized this, but the guilt soon passed as my rebellious teenage nature took over. I then had to ask myself if I believed something different, or had I simply became an atheist?</p><p>     I distinctly remember at seventeen years old finding an old book titled “The Wisdom of China and India”, Edited by Lin Yutang, (Random House, 1942). For some reason, I had become interested in Taoism and was drawn to the translation of the seminal Taoist Creed, The <i>Tao Te Ching</i>. Like a bolt of lightning, I was struck with a joy in my heart and a bright light over my head. I couldn't stop reading and rereading it. I knew I had found my truth; the answers I sought were within that small tome. To this day, Yutang's translation is by far my favorite of the <i>Book of Tao. </i>I decided then and there that I had become a Taoist.</p><p>     Needless to say, my parents were not very pleased, especially since I choose to make the announcement I had “converted” at Easter dinner with all my Mom's family present. There were tears, shouting, even swearing. On hindsight, this wasn't very wise of me. I certainly never intended to hurt anyone, because after all, wasn't this America, which granted Freedom of Religion for all? I learned that day that Freedom of Religion actually meant to practicing Christians “Freedom of Denomination”, but thats a whole other topic…</p><p>     I set out looking for a guru; someone wise to teach me the way. I remember being drawn into the lectures of the late Alan Watts, a truly inspired teacher of all religious teachings of the Asian persuasion. My roommates and I took turns early Sunday mornings to stumble out of whatever degree of hangover we were suffering from and popping a cassette into the recorder to record the Alan Watts broadcast. Later, we would drink strong coffee and all sit around our living room listening to the lecture. Those were wonderful times.</p><p>     However, before I could find a teacher (the USA is actually not a great place to look, but not a bad place either), life interfered. The next thing I knew I was married with two wonderful daughters, and life went on. I like to think that it took me a while to become ready for a teacher. The saying, “When the Student is ready, the Teacher will appear”, certainly applied in my case, because it wasn't until after I retired from a lifetime of service as a public high school English teacher was I able to find my"guru". It was definitely worth the wait as I have almost completed 10 years of study now.</p><p>     I began this entry stating that I believe what I <i>experience</i>. To believe in something that you haven't experience or are not likely to experience seems an exercise in futility to me. Be honest with yourself and begin to question your beliefs. Ask yourself “Why do I believe this or that?” Try to weed out the things you thought you <u>should</u> believe. When I was younger, one thing I noticed about the church goers I was around was that most of them didn't actually believe the creed of the church. Almost all of them felt very strongly that they SHOULD believe it, or that they Ought to believe, and especially they thought they wanted to believe. It became a constant source of hypocrisy and confusion for them. If you truly wish to embark on a path to a Spiritual Life, begin by weeding out your garden; empty your cup. One can't pour fresh tea into a cup already full.</p><p>     False beliefs are a source of much suffering in the world. They govern how we treat each other, how we treat our environment, and most importantly, how we treat and mistreat ourselves. There is great relief in letting go. Make yourself ready for a teacher to appear in your life. It is how spiritual practice works: A teacher and a student. Next, find a meditation practice that 1) Helps you develop your chakras; and 2) helps you clear out some of the baggage we all carry around inside us. A Spiritual Life requires a strong chakra system, and some space to grow new ideas. Unfortunately, there isn't a lot of this critical practice in America (or most Western countries either). It is just not part of our culture.</p><p>     A final concern: There are a few unscrupulous people that pretend to be spiritual teachers, but aren't. So beware. “Trust your heart, not your mind” (From <i>Firebird</i>, <i>On Letting Go</i> CD). Ask questions! You will be up against the one person who will stand in your way of attaining a Spiritual Life: yourself.</p></div>
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  <a href="/blog/blog/7608553/sometimes-its-the-small-things">Sometimes its the Small Things</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message"><p>     I turn 66 today. Hum… I'm glad I'm here, despite my many health issues. I had a particularly deep and intense meditation class this evening (we call them “classes”, but a more accurate word would be “a group meditation session”). I had forgotten that small things, like a birthday, can make a huge difference in spiritual matters. It's odd too that as we approach our teacher's birthday (early August), meditations on the whole become deeper for all in our group. I don't understand this phenomenon; I just notice it. Noticing the small details of the journey has become an unintended development which spontaneously occurred because of my constant practice. Noticing… a wonderful tool.</p><p>     There have been so many surprises along this path. I've developed aspects of myself that I never intended, but they are welcomed just the same. Its hard to predict what will happen when one opens the pandora's box and begin down a spiritual path. The trick is to keep the spiritual elevator moving upward and not to get distracted on each new floor. The more one develops, the more interesting everything becomes. Even the same old things don't seem the same; kind of like adding a dash of salt to food you didn't even realize was bland.</p><p>     Ultimately, the only person you can change is yourself. Like Teacher S always says, we are all up against the one person who prevents us from having a spiritual life: ourselves. And therein lies the challenge. In order to have a spiritual life, one must change him or her self, which turns out to be one of the most difficult endeavors a human being can undertake. It's so much easier to blame everything outside of me for my problems and difficulties, but the truth is that I'm the one that causes them all. Each of us is exactly where we've chosen to be; we are where we are right now based on all the choices we've made in our lives so far.</p><p>     So the real work begins when we decide to take our evolution into our own hands. I wouldn't have it any other way. <i>What will the journey become? </i>(from <i>Oracle</i>, On Letting Go CD). Love each other!</p></div>
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  <a href="/blog/blog/7608018/the-enlightenment-of-mortality">The Enlightenment of Mortality</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message"><p>From <i>My Spiritual Journal, Vol. 2,</i> Dated 1-31-2025:</p><p>     “There comes a point where it occurs to one that he/she is mortal. Sure, everyone knows they are going to die, … someday.  But when one actually realizes they might not wake up tomorrow or has a brush with death, this can be an enlightening moment – an ”ah-ha" realization. I imagine for those who have lived a selfish life with little or no preparation spiritually, they might be scared shitless! Especially those who have spent their time here acquiring as many possessions they could, doing anything and everything to take advantage of others, etc.</p><p>     "Honestly, once you are comfortable and have made preparations for most any possible disaster that might befall you, why do you need more? We should be saving the planet, helping to feed the starving, aiding the less fortunate – because you can't take any possessions with you when you check out. I don't understand the greed mindset…</p><p>     "For myself, discovering I was truly mortal was a bit of a relief. I realize I have much karma still to work out (resolve/work through) and a karmic debt to pay for my life (more on this in another post). Besides growing spiritually as much as I can (because like I said, my spiritual development is all I can take with me when I die), I realized a couple years back I have something to leave behind: my music. I feel music is a very high art form, a totally unique thing humans can do. Create. From one perspective we are all god, capable of destroying life, creating art, making other humans, and completely transforming our environment. We can love. We can forgive. Aren't these acts of god? Again, that is a subject for another post.</p><p>     “Anyway, my realization of mortality has greatly altered my perspective on my current life. It is the beginnings of enlightenment for me. <i>Right and wrong, good and bad, are just ideas someone had; reality is often just a fad.</i> (From <i><strong>Alone</strong></i>, Painter CD). But it's true. ”Good" and “bad”, etc. are just ideas; constructions: the border fringes of maya. The illusion of duality. So what does it matter? I realized in my late teen years/early twenties, instead of a moral code based on poor consciousness of institutionalized “right” and “wrong”, one only has direct control over oneself. Therefore, I think this is how I should live and what a solid moral code looks like. Mine has three primary values (<i>Honor, virtue, and duty are goals worth striving for</i> from <i><strong>Karma's Song</strong></i>, On Letting Go CD):</p><p>     "<u>Honor</u>. Being true to oneself. This comes from following one's heart, not one's mind. A person's word is their bond. Be true to yourself and those around you. <i>Trust your heart, not your mind; let love guide your way. </i> (from <i><strong>Firebird</strong></i>, On Letting Go CD).</p><p>     "<u>Virtue.</u> The pursuit of spiritual goals. I believe this is how one should spend time daily. It involves working out one's karma and performing actions that raise the vibration of the planet (and thus the universe). <i>Learn about your chakras, open to the flow; We swim in a sea of Shakti which most will never know. Your hara is your furnace, burn your anger and your pride…</i> (also <i><strong>Firebird</strong></i>).</p><p>     "<u>Duty.</u> Doing what must be done to preserve and maintain one's life. Duty to oneself, family, and children. Teach by example, not rhetoric. <i>Only do what must be done and limit what you say </i>(<i><strong>Firebird</strong></i>, as well).</p><p>     "I've heard tales of the <i>wiseman</i> giving up all his material belongings and living the life of an ascetic. The enlightenment of mortality makes this act clear to me: material possessions weigh one down. You have to guard them, store them, hide them, etc. But the crazy thing is, you can't take them with you. William, my music partner, said he's never seen a herse pulling a trailer… One's material possessions can become a chain. As my teacher S. (and Rudi as well) say, one has to eventually surrender EVERYTHING. The wise ascetic has taken this to heart and lives without the burden of material possessions. Swami Nitchanada, one of our few modern-day saints, used to sleep on burlap potato sacks. However, I think I understand what S. means by it being OK to have things, as long as we don't let thing have us. As long as we can disconnect from the chains of ownership, we can be free. This is fundamentally a Taoist idea."</p><p>I realize there are several topics in this entry. It's just how my mind rambles when I journal. I find it interesting that many ideas I end up writing about in my spiritual journal first emerged from my song lyrics. This is one reason I'm keeping this blog. The two seem to be connected and go together. I'm curious to hear others' commenting on this entry.</p><p>Be well. Be kind. Be gentle. Choose love over hate, anger, greed, etc.</p></div>
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  <div class="message"><p>From <i><strong>My Spiritual Journey</strong>, Vol. 1</i>, Dated 4/23/2020</p><p>     <i>"My goodness, how powerful we all are. Each of us has created an entire reality, illusionary as it may be! The fact that we built our individual reality is truly an amazing accomplishment! And we did it mostly without consciousness.</i></p><p><i>     “As we begin to wake up through our practice, we realize that most of what we think is real is indeed maya. But, we can now begin to consciously create a new reality that is less maya. Everything is just energy moving. What we think as a wall, for example, from another perspective, is just a collection of atoms/molecules, which is energy moving slowly But in truth, there is so much empty space in that wall. Being sold is part of the illusion. Change your vantage point and see how the ”truth" also changes. So too, you can create something new!'</i></p><p> </p><p>I was pondering maya, the great illusion, at the time I wrote this. This was probably the first inner thinking that eventually became the song <i>Maya</i> (<i>On Letting Go</i> CD). When a person begins to realize they are indeed trapped in a maze of illusion that they themself helped create, they can finally begin to work themself out of the trap. This requires a lot of inner work, a willingness to change and accept the truth as it is (rather than how we want it to be), and an acceptance of who and what we really are. It is a journey of self discovery. It is something one has to be ready for.</p><p>It's all about experience. Be honest with yourself. Love truly is the power of God within us all. Everyday, ask yourself, “Who am I?”. Keep a journal and see how the answer morphs and changes over time. I think you'll find the path of self-discovery a deeply meaningful experience. Have you begun yet?</p></div>
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  <a href="/blog/blog/7603781/the-path-least-taken">The Path Least Taken</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message"><p><strong>Welcome to my first Blog</strong>. I've been practicing a spiritual discipline for close to 10 years now. I've found some amazing things inside me. My understanding continually grows the more I practice and seeps into my song lyrics. I've learned that there is nothing more important in life than developing and aiding the evolution of my “soul”, for lack of a better term. In fact it is true you can't take anything from this life when you depart, except your spiritual evolution and any karma you have resolved while here. We people of the Western world so desperately lack true spiritual guidance; it just isn't part of our culture. I don't claim to have any great “truths” or even understand how it all works, but I've been keeping a pen and paper journal of my experiences while practicing Kundalini Meditation Yoga, and I wish to share what I've discovered through deep meditation and practice, hoping to create a dialogue where those on a similar journey can share their insights and experiences. I firmly believe a little spirituality goes a long way toward making this world a little more sane and sacred.</p><p>     When time permits, I will share entries from my journals as well as thoughts and insights that occur along the path I follow. Its time to introduce a little more spirit into Western Civilization, so seeking a teacher or discipline is not so difficult. What I practice is by no means the only path to the divine, but it is the one that found me when I was finally ready. Feel free to comment and share if you feel so moved.</p><p>     The practice I'm involved with is ancient, with its roots in early Hinduism. I am not a Hindu, and what I do is a “yoga” (a practice/discipline), not a religion. It comes most recently from teachings from the great Indian guru, Swami Nityananda, as developed for Western practitioners by Swami Rudrananda, (who preferred “Rudi”), who was my teacher's teacher. Rudi perished in a plane crash in the 70s. He published one book before his untimely death called <i>Spiritual Cannibalism</i> (an odd title for a spiritual work). It's hard to find copies of the original printing, but if you are ready for it, the depth of truth and understanding in this volume is well worth the effort locating a copy. The original, unmodified version is a paperback, tall and narrow, with a black and white striped cover.</p><p>     I knew as a teenager, I was looking for a spiritual path through this life. I did not find it in the Lutheran tradition I was raised in. Instead, at 17, I happened upon a tome titled <i>The Wisdom of China and India</i>, edited by Lin Yutang (Random House, New York, 1942). Lin's translation of the <i>Tao Te Ching</i>, the seminal Taoist work, struck my young heart and mind and changed my life forever. It was one of those things you just knew was the truth deep in your heart, like a bolt of lightning, and from then on, I was focused on seeking a guru (spiritual teacher). It is true, the saying, that “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear." Even though I knew I needed to work on myself, it wasn't until my 50s that a teacher and practice came into my life.</p><p>     I do not consider myself an authority in spiritual matters. Indeed, I am a humble practitioner, a fellow student. But the path of spirituality doesn't seem a high priority in American life and lifestyle. Hopefully these thoughts and ramblings will stimulate some dialogue and slowly bring the conversation back to what is important, our evolution as individuals, a species, a planet, a universe. Feel free to comment.</p></div>
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