I've been asked about my spiritual practice often. Since my teacher recently published a book on the practice, I thought I'd both recommend it for those seriously interested and explain a bit from my own experience.

I remember my late teenage years being depressed, lonely, and lost. I was confirmed in my mother's Lutheran Christianity, but that brought no peace. In fact, it was the opposite. I was reaching maturity and begun to observe that those people popular in the church circle were actually hippocrates and phonies. They didn't actually believe Jesus was their “Savior”. I think they felt they should believe and some even wanted to believe, but they didn't. This disturbed me greatly because I watched them commit great sins and then asked god for forgiveness. It occurred to me that the church actually set up a vicious circle in their psyche. None of them got better, and in fact, many progressed to worse and worse infractions. Yet they arrived every sunday, dressed in their finery, and continued to pretend to be good Christians. This hypocrisy became painful for my youthful self because my mother, in particular, did believe and try to improve as a human being. She did not meet with any degree of success that I was able to determine. Thus, I found myself in a quandary: Most of the congregation only pretended to practice christianity, and the few that actually did, became mentally, emotionally, or socially ill in some way. Mother developed deep and profound narcisism for example.

I knew something was missing. I knew, even at 18, I was here in this life time to grow spiritually. Thus, I began to explore readings that were “forbidden” by mother and contrary to the teachings of Christianity. I came upon an old book called The Wisdom of China and India Translated by Lin Yutang (Random House, New York, 1942). I had always felt drawn to China in a way I couldn't explain, so I began reading the Wisdom of China section. The first translated work was the Tao Te Ching by Lau Tzu. Its hard to explain how a simple book can have such a profound effect on a person, but I was struck as if by lightning.  Adrenaline burst through my veins and I felt a great weight lifted from inside me. It was like opening my eyes for the the first time. This was what I was missing!

I then set out to find a teacher as I instinctively knew I couldn't get all I needed from reading books. As I look back, it is clear to me now that I wasn't ready then: I didn't have the patients, I wasn't ready to give up my personality I had cultivated and grew to love deeply, I hadn't conquered my ADHD, and I just couldn't sit still long enough to be a worthwhile student. Life soon became my teacher as I began to learn what I needed in order for a spiritual teacher to be useful. Work, marriage, children, going to college while working full-time in order to “get ahead”, gain a better job, and finally to be rewarded by being able to retire from a high school teaching position in my early 50s. Finally, life deemed me ready because within a couple years of retirement, my teacher “appeared”.

While I was busy “doing life”, certain books came my way and I purchased them fully intending to read them all. I did consume several: books on out-of-the-body travel (which I was very intrigued with), tantra, Eastern religions, and others of a spiritual nature. After retirement, I finally had the time to begin reading these works that had called to me off bookseller's shelves all along. I read a book called Kundalini: Divine Energy, Divine Life by Cyndi Dale (Llewellyn Publications, Woodbury, 2011), and again I was struck. Kundalini. It occurred to me that there may be a group or groups practicing Kundalini Yoga or exploring this spiritual energy in Portland. So I looked, and sure enough I found Alice, who became my first teacher of kundalini yoga.

From the first session, I felt… something. A faint stirring inside. It wasn't much, but I knew it was there - an energy inside I could open up to. It was not exactly the same as the chi I experienced when I briefly studied Tai Chi a couple times in the past. This was different, subtle, soul warming. If I hadn't felt anything, I imagine I would have dropped the practice and looked for something else, but as the weeks turned to months of meditation, learning about my energy centers Alice called chakras, and feeling the energy flow inside me getting stronger and stronger, I knew I found what I had been looking for all my life. Alice was a student herself of a spiritual teacher who resided in New York, named Stuart. He periodically came to Portland and conducted retreats. I attended them all and was able to build a personal relationship with him. He was a student of a great spiritual teacher, Swami Rudranada, who perished in a plane wreck several years in the past. Stuart was in the same plane, and lived to carry on Rudi's work. I am now finishing my 10th year in this practice.

What we do is a craft – a spiritual practice which was developed in India thousands of years ago. It is neither a religion nor a cult. We have no dogma, services, rituals, or doctrines. All are welcome to participate. The only rule is no drugs as they damage our chakras over time. The aim is to become a better person by working on oneself through daily meditation. We all carry much baggage from this life and many previous ones. This practice allows us to begin cleaning out all this old garbage we have carried inside so long. It allows us to open to the flow of spiritual energy that is all around us. For many of us, it has become a lifelong practice that has had a profound effect on our lives the longer we practice. There is nothing to believe in, no god to worship, and no evangelism. We aren't looking for anyone to convert. However, if you are interested in what we do, I recommend this book: Rura Meditation: Transforming Life's Tensions into Joy and Love, by Stuart Perrin (ISBN 979-8-2187-8366-2). It may be the start of a new life for you, a spiritual life.

Joy and Love to All

Bob

So what does non-interference look like? It is not a surrender to fate nor a withdrawal from the world. As we continue down the path toward enlightenment, we begin to change inside. Developing a strong chakra system is a major step because the more developed our chakras are, the more spiritual energy can enter and help guide our lives. One thing I've learned along the way is that emotions inform us of many things in the same way our sense of smell warns of fire or chemical hazards. If you learn to listen to your emotions, hear what they are telling you, you've started to develop a critical tool for navigating life. I found that seeking “happiness” always implied there would be “sadness”. What I've discovered is that what I really want is to be content, to feel balance or the absence of strong emotions. I have begun to use this as a compass. The stronger I feel an emotion, the further I am from my center, from balance. If I have a thought that I need to act in a given situation, I check my emotional compass. If there is an emotion attached to my desire to act, I've learned not to react; to pause and reflect instead. This is one tool I have to avoid interference.

Another important tool I've gained is patience. The irony is not lost on me that at this point in my life, I have much less time than I did in my youth, yet I have developed more patience. As a young man, I was a fighter, always looking to right the wrongs in life, to crusade against injustice, to heal the world's wounds. Sigh… I was very rash and bold in those days and was slapped down often, which only made me more determined to fight. What I've learned is restraint and through much work on myself, developed patience. I've found out time and again that when a situation arises, the longer I hold off “acting”, the more likely it will resolve itself.

This is what Lao Tzu says, in chapter 33 of the Tao Te Ching, about Knowing Oneself (Lin Yutang, tr.)

He who knows others is learned;
.   He who knows himself is wise.
He who conquers others has power of muscles;
.   He who conquers himself is strong.
He who is contented is rich.
.   He who is determined has strength of will.
He who does not lose his center endures,
He who [lets go of his power] retains a long life.

Be well. Be kind. Work on yourself daily. Forgive. Love.

– Bob
    

Recent life adventures have reminded me of the futility of trying to change the current of the Tao rather than to flow with it. Strong emotions drive us to action, the need to “do” something, to right a perceived wrong, to control. It's so easy to forget one's training in the face of adversity. I fell into the trap again – briefly. My teacher reminded us that the spiritual journey is two steps forward and one step back, over and over. We learn, meditate, evolve, grow; then life tests us to see if we really understand. When things are in chaos and emotions strong, it is likely a test.

I'm sharing this to remind those of us who choose the Spiritual Journey in this life that everything we experience is either to help us grow or to test us. One never arrives; it's about the journey, the experiences, the challenges. It happens to us all. We work on ourselves, venture into the world, and then we are tested. 

I've suffered emotional trauma most of my life. It was especially intense as a teenager and young adult. The depression was so bad, so overwhelming, I would have done anything to end it short of taking my own life. At that time, my mother's Christian influence held me in sway, and I see now that was a good thing. The thought of “going to hell” was a strong enough motivator to avoid taking my own life in an effort to alleviate the constant horrific emotional pain. Now that I've began this spiritual journey, it is clear what those feelings mean me. I am especially reminded of this from the past month's experiences, where for the first time in over 10 years I begin to feel the tugging of those dark emotions. What I realized was I was being told I have strayed from the path, that I was trying to control the flow again, and that the answer was to let go. To forgive. To love. That is the true power in this life. when I frogave and let go, the darkness was gone – almost instantly.

I encourage everyone to keep on the path, keep working on yourself, keep trying to evolve. That is the meaning of life and the only thing that really makes a difference. Remember the hard times are tests. Welcome them. They are growing pains and they will pass. Use them as a compass to keep on the spiritual quest you've embarked upon.

Thank you for reading. I enjoy hearing from anyone else who feels the nudge of the spiritual journey. As Will and I are (finally) about to release our 3rd CD, Serpent Power, I would like to express my love once again. I hope the music helps through the hard times and brings joy elsewhen..

Love, Music, and Art

Bob

It's taken my whole life to come to the realization that creation is the highest, most spiritual act a human being can engage in. Of all the ways to create, art is among the strongest. We all owe a Karma Debt for our lives which can be overcome by giving back something significant to the universe. Creating a child and teaching it to be successful and to survive is a wonderful act of creation. Inventions which improve the lives of people, especially those inventions that don't damage the Earth significantly, is another way to give back. But the artist is truly unique and individualized. I feel so blessed to have inherited the art of music from the Universe through my father. I have been recording a lifetime's worth of music I've written as a gift to the Universe that gave me the ability to hear the cosmic song and convert it to human understanding.

Artists, especially musicians, rarely receive what they are due. People think offering a musician $50 or $100 bucks to play at their party or in their tavern is fair – “they are only ‘working’ for a couple hours.” But how many hours of practice day in and day out went into that ability to “work” a couple hours. I also find it disheartening to go to a club to hear live music being created and see the house at 25% audience capacity or worse. It seems we have our priorities out of place.

If you were given the gift of art – of creation – I encourage to give your art back to the Universe. Be creative every day. It truly is a sacred right to create, and a most high human endeavor.

Make love and art,

Bob

I sit quietly in the meadow and open my chakras. There doesn't seem to be a mystery right now. Everything I observe appears to move in cycles. A seed is a time pattern: it becomes a plant that produces more seeds. A plant grows in the Earth's soil only to become part of that soil to nourish new plants. Water evaporates from the sea, becomes rain, then makes its way back to the sea. Cycles…

So when my Christian friends tell me we only live once, I just smile. This idea of a single lifetime just doesn't match everything I observe. Life is a cycle. It follows the same natural patterns of the Tao, the way the Universe flows. Instead of focusing on trying to be a good person and hanging onto beliefs in order to gain admittance into some imagined everlasting reward, work on evolving yourself. The only thing you can take with you from this life is your spiritual growth.

Reflect on what an amazing thing life is! Ask yourself, “Who am I?” and follow that train of thought to its final conclusion. Meditate on now. It is truly the only thing that is real.

All my love

Bob

I returned last week from a 3-week pilgrimage of studying with my spiritual teacher. I am reminded how fortunate I am to have found a teacher of his caliber because one can't do this in-depth spiritual work by oneself. Spiritual truth has always been gained from studying with a teacher who can transmit shakti to you. It can't be learned from a book or watching a video. This work is not only the most important thing a human being can do but is one of the most difficult. It requires learning to turn off that constant stream of mind chatter we have been immersed in since birth, building and strengthening our chakra system to be strong enough to really deal with life, and evolving our spirit. Enlightenment is the result, and when achieved, you graduate this material life and move to what's next. It requires sacrifice, determination, and perseverance.

We carry so much baggage inside ourselves. Once you learn to start letting it go, this stuff drops into our naval chakra and is burn up to be converted to chi, the energy of life. My teacher says that we take the stuff that is killing us and turn it into that which gives us life. This can be accomplished, and if you have a deep enough need for a spiritual life, a teacher will eventually be made available to you. Don't stop looking and seize the opportunity when it arises. A true teacher may only appear once in a lifetime.

While I was with my teacher, he helped me clean out so much poison inside me that I became physically ill for several days. But it's gone! It feels so good. All that nasty stuff that was restricting the flow of shakti in my system has been turned into life force. When one has changed enough and cleaned out enough junk that you've carried around for lifetimes, one can be reborn; one of the few ways in this life you can actually fundamentally change yourself. This one was a wonderful rebirth for me. I am truly a new person. Even though this path I've chosen has been difficult, it is the most valuable and rewarding thing I've ever engaged in. I'm half way through my 10th year and I am a new person several times over, with my heart filled with love and my soul filled with peace. If I can do this, anyone can. Endure. Preserviere. Evolve.

All my Love – Bob

From My Spiritual Journal, Volume 2, Dated September 17, 2024

"The important thing is to live on the fine line between doing and not doing. We come here [to the Earth] to overcome [/work out] our karma -- how we spent our energy in this and [from] previous lifes. By pushing in one direction, an absence is created in other places. This generates karma. The cycle goes round and round, always putting energy into one thing that creates a vacuum in another – then trying to make it up by filling a void we (inadvertently) created. Round and round we go on the Karma Wheel.

"The way out of this never ending cycle is to rise above it. A problem can't be solved at the same energy level in which it was created – so you have to change, grow, and resolve the karma wheel we are caught in, [again] by rising above it. The tools we have for this is meditation, and through this, [we can] gain spiritual growth [i.e. evolve spiritually], which allows us to rise above our current situation.

“Eventually, one gathers enough Spiritual Energy [Shakti] to begin to evolve. Sometimes this comes all at once through a flash of enlightenment [or insight], and at other times through years of working on ourselves through daily mediation and intaking of shakti from our teachers and the world around us.”

Probably the most difficult task a human being can accomplish is changing themself. Those who manage this self-change will grow and evolve. It can take years and more likely lifetimes, but spiritual growth is the ONLY thing you can take with you from this life when you leave. I still find it amazing that so many people's true religion is greed. This shows both ignorance and selfishness.

We all have the right to work hard and live a comfortable life, but the more comfortable life becomes, the more we stop struggling and ultimately growing spiritually. If one lives a middle-class lifestyle, what more does one require? Especially with so many people and other creatures dying from starvation or becoming extinct. At some point, too much excess is just wrong, especially when this excess could contribute to a better planet and saving lives.

If you use the fabulous brain you were given, it should be clear that in the scope of the life of a planet (i.e. billions of years), a human life is very short. Think about it: isn't it really foolish to spend most of your time acquiring excess money and possessions only to leave it behind when you pass on? And by spending all our time this way, don't we fail to work on ourselves and grow spiritually? To improve as both a people and a planet, shouldn't we give up our selfish behaviors, put aside our lower emotions of greed and envy, and work together to evolve?

As always, my love goes out to everyone. Be kind to each other and generous always.

I remember as a child I longed to be a scientist. To this day, I hold a deep appreciation for science; its devotion to being methodical in learning the truth of the universe in which we find ourselves, to painstakingly experiment again and again until the light turns on and the truth is revealed. Every postulate can be proved, every new development based on and build from what came before; a system that is consistent and is willing to accept what is discovered, even if it is unpleasant or goes against what we think ought to be. But as I grew, it became clear that there was a major flaw in the science system of understanding: It believes it is the only and absolute truth.

I grew up involved heavily in a Lutheran church with a mother extremely devout to the point of righteousness and absolutism. The church had the advantage over science in some ways, especially the willingness to believe in truth that at this time can't be proved through systematic experimentation. But alas, western religion seems to have the same affliction as science, the belief that they hold the only and absolute truth. Even when it is obviously contradictory to their beliefs. Evolution, for example.

From this, I have learned to be very cautious of absolutism. I draw truth from a variety of sources: Science, spirituality, experience. We are much more than we tend to think we are. Each of us come into this world with a heart, mind, and psychic system, which at a fundamental level, consists of many chakras. Please don't take my word for it; the heart and mind and chakras all can be experienced. We are each touched by the divine. Explore this and see if I am correct.

I feel the best tools a human being can employ are an open mind and an open heart. If you can experience something, it is truth, even if it can't be defined through systematic experimentation. Just because another wearing a priest's robe tells you something is truth, question it, especially if you don't experience it or “feels” wrong. Trust yourself. Approach life with love and an open heart. Use your own mind.

Much Love. Bob

Imagine if you will, a still, mountain pond. Nothing is moving over the surface except a gentle breeze that does not disturb the pond's surface. Then a tremor in the earth dislodges a pebble, named James, and he falls into the water creating a ripple pattern; even, predictable, clean. Another pebble, Amy, soon falls into the water setting off another ripple pattern. The two ripples intersect. The dual wave ripples form a new, strong pattern, clear and understandable. James and Amy's reality intersect, but the result is harmonious. Both understand the reality they created together and there is little confusion. Both see the pattern clearly and understand their combined reality. For them, it was the truth.

Another tremor dislodges 100 or so more pebbles, which all begin to fall into the pond. The patterns formed are no longer clear. It is chaos, with waves rippling pell mell over the surface of the pond, colliding and intersecting in ways that appear random. The newcomers try to define their combined reality. Each feels they contributed to the joint reality, and in truth, they did. However, the result of the input of 100 new pebbles created a reality that wasn't clear to even James and Amy, who wish they could still see the simple reality they used to.

Finally, someone said that they knew the truth. Soon another responded that they knew the truth. Yet both saw it differently. The mountain looked down at the pond and sighed. It said, “That is maya and all the pebbles contributed to it.”

After a while, the ripples subsided, leaving the pond surface clear once more. A bird landed near the water to drink. Looking at the still water, it said, “Now I see the truth,” and drank its fill.

We have few traditions in our spiritual practice, but welcoming in the new year is one. We connect in person or on Zoom and sit in deep meditation as the old years rolls on and the new one is born. It is a time to really let go of all the baggage we collected during the previous year and not carry it forward. Rudi once said the easiest way to let go of the old is to walk to a street corner and turn your back on it all, and simply walk away leaving the troubles, stress, negative energy, and tribulations behind you. Don't look back.

I invite everyone to JUST LET IT GO. The past is gone and the future hasn't been written. There is only NOW. A simple and understandable concept, yet simply being in the NOW seems to be one of the most difficult of human endeavours. Make 2026 the year of rebirth. Start your new life today. Let go of the old. Sing, dance, and welcome in the new, fresh vibrations of 2026. The past is gone if you let it go. Don't add to the weight you already carry.

My love to all!